Things That Parents of ADHD Children Wished Every Teacher Knew

I found this while looking for something else online today. It pretty much sums it up.

  • Having an ADHD child is very challenging and we need all the help we can get. Teachers play a vital role in the way that our child feels about himself and we hope that you will do whatever you can to help our child learn and maintain his self-esteem.
  • Just like a blind person needs to learn coping strategies so that he can lead an independent life, our goal for our ADHD child is that together with his teachers and his medical professionals, we will help him to learn the special ways that he can be successful in all areas of his life. These special strategies include things like developing ways to keep organized, be on time, control behaviour, plan and complete work, make and keep friends. This requires consistent effort on the part of his support team, of which you are vital part.
  • All current research emphatically shows that ADHD is not caused by bad parenting. Please be assured that we are doing everything we can to learn and use effective strategies for managing ADHD at home. Research also shows that the more consistent we are in the ways we manage ADHD in the home and school environment, the greater chances for success.
  • Children with ADHD have many talents and strengths: creative minds, curiosity, boundless energy, humour, courage, leadership abilities, physical abilities, stamina and often show amazing gifts in specialized areas like computers, math, music, etc. Sometimes as parents and teachers we tend to focus on the weaknesses rather than the strengths in our aim to change behaviours. As parents and teachers we need to seek out these strengths and utilize them to help this child be successful in their own way.
  • Unfortunately, our highly structured, standardized education system which requires all students to sit quietly at a desk, listen and do independent work for several hours a day can be the worst possible environment for ADHD children. Although, we understand that we cannot change the system, from or own experiences we recognize the value of learning to understand this condition and how it effects these children. We would be more than willing to work with you to develop strategies, reward systems and any other problem-solving that is required.
  • Please feel free to contact us as frequently and as often as you need to and don’t wait until issues get to a crisis stage. And remember that we would love to hear about positive developments and not just the negative stuff.
  • In turn,we may need to contact you frequently, but rest assured that we will not take advantage of the situation. Please help us by giving us a way to do that. Email could be very helpful for this.
  • Because ADHD children often misunderstand social interactions, they quite regularly report events inaccurately. It’s important for you and us to remember that what he tells us about what happened at school or at home may need to be verified to make sure that it is correct before we take any action.
  • A daily communication tool is often helpful but we need it to record progress towards desired behaviours and not report on negative behaviours. Our children will work very hard for much-needed positive reinforcement but will shut down cooperation and effort if they only receive negative feedback. They will not cooperate with either of us if they feel we are only joining forces to share negative information on their behaviour.
  • ADHD is not an excuse for poor behaviour – but it is an explanation. Our child is expected to act appropriately but will need your help and encouragement to learn and practice it. Immediate feedback is important – positive and constructive. Our child needs specific instruction and modeling in this area. If he acts inappropriately, take him aside and tell him that his behaviour was not appropriate, explain why (tell him how it effected the person it was directed at) and show him what he should do instead. Then make sure that you praise him whenever you notice improvement.
  • Homework is an enormous challenge for our child and also for us because he has challenges with organization. Please work with us to develop strategies to help him learn better organization skills. We expect him to work on improving his organization skills and will not accept his ADHD as an excuse for not doing his homework.
  • Short term memory deficits can be an inherent problem of ADHD. Insisting that the student needs to take responsibility for remembering things without giving him strategies and tools to do this only sets him up for failure and frustrates all of us.
  • When our children arrive home without the necessary books and materials to complete homework, it causes enormous stress for our child and us. Please help him to develop a strategy which ensures that he has everything he needs before he leaves school. Having a second set of books at home is helpful.
  • Our child has trouble remembering multiple instructions. Please provide written instructions so that we can ensure that assignments are being done correctly and completely. Unfortunately, without assistance, our child may then forget the instructions at school. Emailing instructions home or providing the phone number of a classmate would be helpful.
  • We will do our best to ensure that our child completes all homework on time but we may need your help with deadline extensions if our child legitimately needs more time. We will help our child to plan out larger assignments by breaking them into smaller pieces and setting deadlines and then ensuring that the deadlines are met, but any assistance that you can give him at school would be most helpful.
  • We will not do our child’s homework for him. It is important that he do the work and earn the marks himself. Doing his work for him will only rob him of his self-confidence and self-esteem and will not give you an accurate picture of his progress.
  • We will develop and maintain a system to ensure that all assignments come back to school. Please create a consistent routine and place for him to hand his work in. If any assignments are missed, please contact us immediately.
  • When our child has a teacher who understands how extremely difficult and frustrating it is to have ADHD, he has the potential of having a wonderful school experience where he can grow, learn and feel proud and successful. However, when his ADHD is not understood, he often feels like a failure and we run the risk that he will give up on school and himself and turn his fantastic energy and gifts to unproductive and possibly destructive activities. I hope that we can work together to to nurture the wonderful qualities of our special child.

Reprinted from this source document under Creative Commons License.

Poor Working Memory & ADHD

When many people hear that someone has ADHD (ADD) they immediately think of physical hyperactivity. I must admit, until I was diagnosed and began educating myself on the subject, I also thought that’s all that it was and that it was “outgrown”. Boy was I wrong!

I was doing some reading today, and ran across this list of abilities that are affected by the working memory difficulties experienced by people affected by ADHD.

  • Remembering and following instructions (especially verbal instructions) (I’m sorry, I don’t remember you saying anything about needing to do that part!)

  • Memorizing information (math facts, spelling words, dates, etc.) (Probably why although I enjoyed “learning” about history I couldn’t “memorize” the dates to save my life, which, of course, resulted in lower than usual grades on “memorization related” tests! Countries & Capitals, States & Capitals, what year did So-And-So discover Such-And-Such?)

  • Performing mental computation (doing math “in your head”) (Someone please give me some scrap paper!)

  • Completing complex math problems (algebra) (No wonder I DESPISED algebra & math!)

  • Remembering one part of an assignment or project while working on another segment

  • Paraphrasing or summarizing (Um, yeah, I’m not exactly known for being brief.)

  • Organizing and writing essays (Don’t get me started on my hatred of organized reports & essays…Can’t I just let it flow as it comes out of my brain?)

  • Learning from past behavior (No comment…)

  • Judging the passage of time accurately (and therefore not allowing enough time to complete tasks such as homework, projects, etc.) (I swear it only takes me 30 minutes to get ready to walk out the door, but if you ask my husband, it takes me about 2 hours.)

  • Examining or changing your own behavior (possibly leading to behaviors that may alienate friends, co-workers, etc. “Self awareness”) (I shudder to think what people “really” think about me. I know “tactful” probably won’t be found on any lists most people would make of descriptive words for me. BUT, I believe I’ve gotten better at keeping my big mouth shut compared to how I was up until a couple of years ago. Not perfect, but better.)

  • Planning ahead (Weekly dinner menu? HA HA HA HA!!! I’m doing great if I can decided at lunchtime what I’m going to make for dinner…which reminds me…it’s almost lunch time.)

  • No matter how high a person’s IQ is, if they are affected by ADHD, they WILL have more difficulty with their “working memory” (if not then they don’t have ADHD) than a person without ADHD. Fortunately, there have been great strides in ADHD research & treatment/management in the past decade. As I find resources on the ‘net I try to bookmark them in my Delicious bookmarks. Please feel free to check out (or subscribe to) my ADHD related bookmarks.

    I’d love to hear about your ADHD experiences! Feel free to comment below.

    Brianna's Day 1 on Adderall

    I gave Brianna 1 dose of Adderall this morning at breakfast just to test the waters to see how she was going to have any negative reactions to the medication. We talked about having her pay attention to her body and letting me know if anything felt weird or wrong or if anything hurt, etc. I think I drove her half bonkers asking her about it every half hour or so for the first couple of hours. But…nothing. Whew! I didn’t see any difference in her today though…she was so engrossed in her new DS games that she really didn’t get up off the couch much today. Tomorrow I’ll give her a second dose after lunch and see how that goes.

    I also started my increased dosage today. I didn’t really notice a difference. But, then again, I wasn’t really doing much of anything today.

    December Review

    It’s been a busy month here in our household. I was trying to squeeze in all my usual monthly client work into about 2 1/2 weeks so I could take these last 2 weeks of the month off (mostly). Then, of course, there are the other normal regular life things going on – PTA, Brianna’s holiday functions at school, getting ready for Christmas and dealing with a sinus infection slowing me down for about a week.

    I haven’t been taking my Adderall as consistently as I should. If I know I’m not going to be working, I often won’t take it, or I’ll only take it in the morning and not take my afternoon dose.  I also need to start journaling my symptoms better, even on the days I don’t take it, so I can get a better view of what the meds seem to be helping and what I need to be working on.

    Like I said in a previous post, I am noticing a difference in my mental focus when I take it, as well as my fidgeting and my desire to do things “in a hurry”. I also had lunch and spent the afternoon with a friend today and helped her with a few things at her office. Partway through our time together I could feel my meds wearing off, but wanted to wait a little while until I took my 2nd dose of the day. I could feel myself getting a little more fidgety and noticed I was talking faster. When we sat down to lunch I took my meds and about 10 minutes later I started feeling “normal” again. I found myself speaking slower without having to think about it and not feeling the need to tear the straw wrapper into hundreds of little pieces (one of my fidgety habits). Something that totally took me by surprise was when my friend told me she was amazed to see how quickly it “changed” me. She said one thing she noticed right away after it “kicked in” was I finished sentences instead of jumping to another thought in the middle of the sentence. I didn’t even realize I did that!

    So, after much thought and consideration I decided to get Brianna evaluated also since she is almost a mirror image of myself when I was her age. I do not want her to have to struggle with focus and studying like I did in school. Although I was on the honor roll, studying was almost painful for me. I scheduled a meeting with her teacher and we discussed a few things before I made her appointment.

    Brianna was in rare form the day we went to the doctor (which was combined with my monthly check in). The child did not sit still the entire time we were in with the doctor. She was constantly walking around the room putting her hands on pretty much everything. I tried, in vain, to tell her to sit still, stay in one place, stop touching everything, etc. The doc said based on what I had told him about her at home and at school and “just being in the same room with her” (yep, his words), it was one of the easiest AD/HD diagnoses he’s had in a long time. So, we’re starting her on a light dose of Adderall twice a day. I’ll have to get all the paperwork done for her school so they can give her 2nd dose to her at school.

    We’ve had a pretty good Christmas here in the household. We got a Wii! It’s GREAT! We’re having a great time playing games with each other. Even Delaney is able to play some of the games. JR’s enjoying it more that I thought he would. I’m much more SORE than I thought I’d be! That darn thing works muscles you forgot you had with some of those games…especially the ones you use the balance board for. I did all the yoga poses the other night just to try them all out…I could definitely feel it the next day!

    Jackie and Shiner are doing great. They’re pretty much inseparable now. Shiner actually enjoys being around her. Jackie’s getting so big…she’s up to 30 pounds now. When the two of them get to running around the living room chasing each other it’s like a herd of buffaloes running through the house. Jackie’s gotten “sit” down pat and she’s pretty good at “stay”, so we’ve moved on to trying to teach her “down”.

    Adderall Day 1 End of Day

    Well, it’s about a quarter til 10 at night and around 4:30 or 5:00 I started feeling tired and yawning a lot (I took my Adderall at about 9:30 – so about 7 hours). If I had taken it earlier in the day (around 6:30 when I normally get up), then taken my 2nd dose again round 1 or 1:30 after lunch I’m guessing my “let down” would come around 8 or 9 PM when I’m starting to wind down my day.

    The sweating seemed to subside later by early afternoon, so it wasn’t so bad. I’ll update again tomorrow when I’ve had a full day’s worth of meds. Plus, I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow.

    Day 1 – 2 hours after – Adderall Update

    Well, I took my first dose of Adderall this morning at around 9:30 (after I got back from picking it up at the pharmacy). It’s been about 2 hours and I am noticing I’m able to focus on what I’m doing more and not feeling that nagging feeling to “check on this” and “check on that” when I’m in the middle of something. And even though it’s the first day of the month and I’ve got dozens of things to do for clients, the PTA meeting this afternoon, as well as just general things around the house, I am not feeling the intense sense of OMG, I’ve got sooo much to do. I have to do it all RIGHT NOW that I normally feel. I am feeling that I CAN get it all done and it does NOT have to be done NOW, only that it needs to be done today. It’s a very good feeling!

    Now, for the bad things…I do not feel hot at all, but O.M.G. the SWEATING! I had to change my shirt a little while ago!

    Diagnosed with ADHD

    I’ve been debating whether or not to post this as a public post or to keep it private. But, if you’re reading this you’ve probably figured out I decided to go ahead and make it public. Partly because I’m pretty open about just about everything and partly because you just never know who might read it and it could make a difference to them.

    I’d been seeing a psychologist for a couple of weeks when some issues came up and he asked me if I had ever been tested for Attention Deficit Disorder. I had not, but I’d often wondered if I had it. So, last week I got tested for and diagnosed with ADD, both hyperactive and inattentive types. I’m 36 years old. I thought it was something kids had and “outgrew”.

    It was somewhat of a relief to actually have an official diagnosis. But, at the same time I was also feeling scared, angry and sad. Scared because I wasn’t sure how to proceed. Angry because I wasn’t diagnosed earlier. Sad because I began to wonder what “could have been” had I been diagnosed and treated as a child.

    So, I did my googling that afternoon and found several web sites with information about ADHD in kids and adults. I did not realize that the symptoms showed up differently in girls and boys and adults! Almost every symptom listed for girls I had as a child! If we knew then what we know now, I might have been diagnosed and treated sooner. I was a very good student in school (honor roll & graduated high school with honors), but I struggled with studying and completing assignments. I wonder how much better I could have done if I could have been able to focus more. When I started to think about it I started to cry…hard. I didn’t let myself wallow in it too much though, because honestly, it didn’t do any good. It was “cleansing” to get it out, but time to move on.

    The question now turns to what am I going to do NOW to “fix” this.

    I had an appointment with my primary care doc today (he got a copy of the test results and letter from my psychologist), and he prescribed Adderall. I’ll pick it up from the pharmacy tomorrow (there was a long wait this evening and I needed to get home before J.R. left for work), so I haven’t started taking it yet. I’ve got another appointment with my psychologist later this week.

    I’m going to try to start journaling here to help me keep track of how I’m feeling and if the meds are doing me any good, making me feel bad, having side effects, etc.

    Stay tuned.