I can do nothing & just live with it. It’s not “life threatening” – I won’t die from the PSVT episodes, but it’s very annoying at the least and can be quite inconvenient depending on when, where & how long they last.

I can continue with the meds for a while to see if there seems to be any difference. (I got an app for my iPod today to track symptoms since I can’t remember from one day to the next & it’s a pain in the butt to write them down – I’d much rather just tap a couple of things & let the iPod time stamp it for me!)

I can opt for a cardiac ablation procedure. At this point I wasn’t too thrilled with some of the statistics that were discusses, so I’ll definitely need to do more reading & pondering before making a decision on that.

Otherwise, I’m not restricted on anything. I can continue with my Adderall. The doc said that he hasn’t seen any problems in his patients who take both Adderall & Toprol/Metoprolol. The Adderall did not cause the PSVT (that has been going on for the past 18 years – at least – and I’ve only been taking the Adderall since November and I hadn’t taken the Adderall for 4 days prior to this last major episode). He said if I have an SVT event that lasts for more than 2 hours I should go ahead and go to the ER to have it stopped, but otherwise,

I’ve got a follow-up appointment with the doc in 3 months. He wants to do an echocardiogram at that appointment to take a look at the structure of my heart, but he said the EKG today looked fine. At this point I’m just going to continue with the Toprol & do my best to remember to record my symptoms. Boring stuff…

Problems with my heart are nothing new for me. I was diagnosed with a heart murmur when I was in the 5th grade. I was told at the time the heart murmur (due to a defective heart valve) was caused by Rheumatic Fever I had when I was 2 and that it was the kind of murmur I would not grow out of and it was highly suggested that I have heart valve replacement surgery.

The heart murmur diagnosis explained why I passed out so much during physical activity (once even during one of my birthday parties). So, my physical activity was seriously limited – no more PE class, no basketball, no running, nada… Time went on and I never had the surgery. Every time I went to the doc my mom would always ask if they could still hear the murmur – every time they could still hear it.

I moved to Virginia when I was 18. Shortly after I went to the doc to figure out once and for all if I needed to have the surgery (since my then husband was in the military I would be able to have pretty much anything I needed to have done for free at Portsmouth Naval Hospital). They could not find the heart murmur. Strange, but true – it was gone. Relief.

Fast forward about a year. I woke up suddenly (middle of the day – I was working night shift) with the feeling that someone was laying on top of me. I was difficult to breathe & my heart was racing. After a few minutes I realized it wasn’t going to stop. So, I told my then husband that I needed to go to the hospital & I dragged myself into the shower real fast (I had to sit in the tub because I couldn’t stand) & threw on some clothes. We rushed off to the hospital. Unfortunately we got stuck in some serious traffic. What should have only taken us about 20 minutes to get to the hospital took us almost 2 1/2 hours. They rushed me in & hooked me up to the EKG machine. It didn’t work. It was detecting my heart rate (217), but not printing the rhythm out like it was supposed to. UGH. So, as they were trying to figure out why the machine wasn’t working one of the nurses stuck an IV needle in my arm. That was just enough shock to my system to convert my heart rhythm back to normal. Of course, just a few moments later the stinkin’ EKG machine started working. Unfortunately, they never got my irregular heart rhythm documented.

A visit to the cardiologist & a Holter monitor study later they still didn’t really find anything – but I was put on beta blockers for a year. That sucked – I wanted to sleep all the time. Nothing like that episode happened again for several years – even through the stress of a divorce & move from Virginia back to Oklahoma.

The next time it happened I was living in Hawaii. I was at a study group & it hit me again. After a few minutes I knew I needed to be seen, so, stupidly, I drove myself home then had my husband, J.R., take me in to the clinic. Right as we were almost there it stopped. But, we had them check me out anyway…nothing. GGRRR… It did happen a few more times while we were in Hawaii, but they only lasted a few minutes, so we didn’t even bother leaving the house.

Years pass, and no incidents. Even while I was working at the prison in a high stress environment I only remember it happening once or twice, and again, they were only a few minutes. It always seems like they start when I’m relaxed – not when I’m involved in any physical activity or stressed.

The past, oh, 6 months I guess, I’ve had a hand-full of episodes – mostly very short lived – a few minutes. One was a little longer – half hour or so. But this last one was not my normal episode.

Like I said earlier, my phone rang about a quarter to 1 Sunday morning. Wrong number I’m guessing because it was an out of state number & they didn’t leave a message. Anyway, when I woke up I realized my heart was racing & it was difficult to get a full breath. JR was working (night shift) and the kids were in bed, so I just tried to relax and go back to sleep, since I knew the episodes normally passed in a few minutes. I was able to doze off and on the rest of the night – but very restless & needless to say, not comfortable at all. JR came home & went to sleep. I didn’t want to bother him. When I heard the kids get up, they started playing the Wii. So, I got up and came in to lay on the couch, hoping a change of venue would help me relax more and maybe I’d be able to catch a nap. No such luck.

So, I dragged myself into the shower & washed my hair so I wouldn’t feel so gross. I figured while I was in there I’d try shocking my system with a cold shower to see if that would work (since plunging your head in ice-water is actually a medically recognized way to shock your system back to normal). Again, nope.

So, I laid on the bathroom floor for a while – I don’t know how long. Then I got up and laid down in the bed with JR. Finally, around 2:30 P.M., I woke JR up & asked him to take me to the hospital. I called around to a few neighbors to see if they could watch the girls – of course, being the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, no one was answering their phone. Last ditch effort – calling Brianna’s best friend’s mom – SUCCESS. She rushed over to pick up the girls. Of course, right after she got here, one of the neighbors came over. I chose to go ahead and let the girls go with Brianna’s friend’s mom since I knew they’d have a great time over there and would be way less likely to be worrying about me.

While JR was getting showered & dressed I tried to call TriCare to let them know I was headed to the ER – of course, they’re closed. Typical.

We finally left the house a little after 3:30. Since JR knows the EMS folks in town pretty well, we drove past to see if they were in. They were, so we had one of them give me a quick once over, just to make sure I wasn’t just having a panic attack or something. The paramedic listened to my heart & lungs & then highly suggested we get to the ER because he suspected I was in SVT. So, off we went. This is totally silly, but JR’s wondering out loud about the quickest way to get to the hospital – since we hadn’t been since Delaney was born almost 3 1/2 years ago. I looked at him and said, “You’ve got a GPS!” (I bought him the GPS to use in his patrol car a couple of months ago). So, I plugged the hospital in as the destination – it decided to take us via the scenic route, but it actually was faster.

We finally get to the ER (in JR’s police car & him all decked out in his uniform, since he was supposed to work that evening) a little after 4. He filled out the forms and came to sit down with me. A few minutes later they called me back & hooked me up to the EKG machine. The nurse took one look at the printout, ripped it out of the machine & high tailed it out of the room. A few seconds later she & and another person came back in saying, “We’ve got to get her out of here & into the other room.” So, into the other room I went and the room quickly filled with people – complete with a “crash cart”. I had all sorts of things stuck to my chest for various monitoring. I didn’t realize it at the time, but they had also had the pads stuck on me for the defibrillator (just in case). They quickly told me they would be putting some medication into my IV port that would stop my heart for a few seconds allowing it to hopefully return to a normal rhythm when it restarted. Of course, they had the defibrillator pads stuck on me in case they needed to shock me. THAT was a freaky feeling. Having your heart stopped but people are still telling you to breath, just keep breathing, all while you’re grunting & trying to breathe. After what seemed like forever, but I’m sure was only about 10 seconds, I felt my heart beating normally. It was such a relief. The conversations after that seem to all get jumbled together, but I do remember asking to make sure that they actually did get the irregular rhythm documented this time. They said, they indeed did. I remember I started crying at that point because it was such a relief knowing that I REALLY DID have something wrong and that it was not documented.

And, in true fashion, after everything was over and we knew I would be fine, JR joked that he should have just tazed me and I would have been fine. He also knew I was fine when I asked for my iPod and immediately checked to see if the hospital had an unsecured Wi-Fi connection (they did) so I could update my social networks.

They kept me there for a couple of hours just to make sure I didn’t have any other reactions to the heart stopping medication. One of the first nurses that had seen me came in to check on me once and said that it was nice to see that I wasn’t gray anymore. I was very tired, and my chest was still very sore from my heart going nuts inside, so it was hard to take a “full” breath, but my blood oxygen level was 100%, so I was getting plenty of oxygen – it just still hurt to breathe. I was finally relaxed enough that I was able to sleep.

After we got home and ate something, the girls came home & JR headed out to work – 2 1/2 hours later than planned. I had the girls sleep in the room with me (on the floor, because neither of them can keep still & I didn’t want all that activity in the bed) just in case something happened & I needed Brianna to make a phone call for me. I slept like a rock. But, I’m still a little tired today. My chest only hurts when I try to take a BIG breath & earlier when I had a small case of the hiccups.

I need to call to make an appointment with the heart hospital in Columbia Tuesday when the offices open back up, and I also need to let my regular doctor know what’s going on. I don’t know if this is going to mean a change in the way my ADHD is treated, but I’m not going to take my meds “just in case” until I talk to my doctor. And, in case anyone has thought about it, I had not taken my Adderall since Wednesday, so it’s highly unlikely that this was in any way related since this has happened many times long before I started on the Adderall. Plus, once it wears off (within a few hours), it’s out of your system – it doesn’t linger.

I’m very thankful for all my friends, who’ve shown concern. I’m very touched. Thank you all.

Then, I get home and fed the dogs – Delaney dropped Jackie’s dish & food spilled on the floor. I went to heat up my coffee (since it went cold because I slept late) and when I put my sugar in I forgot to wait a couple of seconds & it “boiled over” the cup & I had coffee all over my counter.

I still have to shower & get dress, but first I have to upload shopping cart product updates & website changes for a client first (HAS to be done this morning). After I’m done with that and dressed I have to load Delaney up & go pick up prescriptions for me & Brianna at the doctor’s office then run them to the pharmacy to get them filled. Oh yeah, and we need milk.

Wish me luck with the rest of my day – I hope I don’t slice an artery when I’m shaving my legs this morning. <sarcasm>

It was also my 2nd day on my increased dose. I didn’t do much that required concentration today, so I can’t make much of an assessment for myself. Basically I only took down the Christmas tree, cleaned the kitchen some, watched a movie with the family, cleaned the play room & the girls’ bedroom & closet.

The sweating seemed to subside later by early afternoon, so it wasn’t so bad. I’ll update again tomorrow when I’ve had a full day’s worth of meds. Plus, I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow.

Now, for the bad things…I do not feel hot at all, but O.M.G. the SWEATING! I had to change my shirt a little while ago!

I’d been seeing a psychologist for a couple of weeks when some issues came up and he asked me if I had ever been tested for Attention Deficit Disorder. I had not, but I’d often wondered if I had it. So, last week I got tested for and diagnosed with ADD, both hyperactive and inattentive types. I’m 36 years old. I thought it was something kids had and “outgrew”.

It was somewhat of a relief to actually have an official diagnosis. But, at the same time I was also feeling scared, angry and sad. Scared because I wasn’t sure how to proceed. Angry because I wasn’t diagnosed earlier. Sad because I began to wonder what “could have been” had I been diagnosed and treated as a child.

So, I did my googling that afternoon and found several web sites with information about ADHD in kids and adults. I did not realize that the symptoms showed up differently in girls and boys and adults! Almost every symptom listed for girls I had as a child! If we knew then what we know now, I might have been diagnosed and treated sooner. I was a very good student in school (honor roll & graduated high school with honors), but I struggled with studying and completing assignments. I wonder how much better I could have done if I could have been able to focus more. When I started to think about it I started to cry…hard. I didn’t let myself wallow in it too much though, because honestly, it didn’t do any good. It was “cleansing” to get it out, but time to move on.

The question now turns to what am I going to do NOW to “fix” this.

I had an appointment with my primary care doc today (he got a copy of the test results and letter from my psychologist), and he prescribed Adderall. I’ll pick it up from the pharmacy tomorrow (there was a long wait this evening and I needed to get home before J.R. left for work), so I haven’t started taking it yet. I’ve got another appointment with my psychologist later this week.

I’m going to try to start journaling here to help me keep track of how I’m feeling and if the meds are doing me any good, making me feel bad, having side effects, etc.

Stay tuned.

The girls, of course, adore her.  JR is thrilled to have a dog he can start teaching early (unlike Shiner, who was close to 2 by the time we got him and a little more set in his ways). I’m less than thrilled that I’ve got to deal with puppy behavior for a while, but she’s cute.

She’s not doing well at night.  Saturday night she whined almost all night. We had her in the kitchen with Shiner, but apparently having another dog in there with her didn’t help with her transition much.  She pooped in the floor twice and peed in the floor 5 times that night.  Last night I just simply could NOT stand the whining and knew I wouldn’t get a decent nights’ sleep AT ALL, so I caved and got her out of the kitchen and slept on the couch with her.  She wanted to play some, but mostly she did sleep quietly – thankfully – although most of the time it was on my head.  She also used the potty outside twice last night.  When she got restless I took her outside and she went! YAY, no cleaning up poo or pee in the morning for me!

She’s also doing pretty well at going potty outside during the day.  We’re diligent about taking her out IMMEDIATELY after eating (and by immediately, I mean within about 30 seconds of her last bite), after she wakes up from a nap and after a good session of play.  It seems to be working.  Yesterday I only cleaned up 2 messes.  But, she’s really small and only pees about the amount of half a thimble. She does poo quite a big pile though.  But, since we’ve been taking her out often, she’s only done that in the house twice (other than Saturday night) – she’s pooed outside about 6 or 7 times.

We’re trying to teach Delaney how to properly handle her.  She’s only 5 pounds right now, so she’s small enough for Delaney to pick up (for the next couple of weeks anyway).  She keeps wanting to pick her up by the neck. I think she’s starting to get it though because she did have her under the front legs the last time she picked her up. When I was in the shower this morning I made sure to have them both in the bathroom with me. I really didn’t want to risk having the two of them alone together!  I peeked out the shower door once and Delaney had Jackie by the tail spinning around! Yes, Jackie was up off the ground! Poor puppy! I was mortified. Delaney doesn’t mean to hurt her, I just don’t think she 100% understands that it’s a real dog that feels and not a cute stuffed animal that moves.

Brianna has been pretty good at helping out with her – making sure she goes out when she needs to and keeping her from chewing on the things she shouldn’t.

Shiner is only tolerating her at the moment. He’s not thrilled that he has to share with her. He’s growled at her a couple of times when he’s chewing on a bone or eating.  We nip that behavior immediately when he starts. He’s starting to get the message. He was even “almost” playing with her this morning. He should enjoy her more when she’s bigger and they can actually run and play without her getting hurt. He LOVES playing with the other neighborhood dogs – but then again he doesn’t have to share with them. We shall see. He may only end up tolerating her like he did with Jake. But, Jake was old and couldn’t run and play like Shiner wanted to, so I’m hopeful.

Brianna got her braces fixed and adjusted last week. Literally the evening she got the loose bracket put back on, the tooth was straight! I’ll have to post the before/after pictures on that later. The quick progress on her teeth is completely blowing my mind.  She also got the palate spreader put in at her last appointment. We have to “turn the key” every night before bed, and Delaney see us put the thing in Brianna’s mouth and push it, so, of course, she thinks SHE needs to have her key turned to.  So, we have to put the key in her mouth and pretend to turn it. She thinks she’s being just like her sister. If I “forget” to do hers she starts hollering, “Me too, Mommy! Me too!”

JR took the girls outside earlier this week and Delaney FINALLY figured out how to use the pedals on her bike. She can ride it (training wheels) in the driveway TOWARD the house, but she can’t ride it toward the street yet. There is a very slight slope toward the house, so she’s not having to struggle very hard in that direction.

Oh, and Delaney is doing very well on her potty training. I don’t remember the last time she had a pee accident (it’s been a few weeks), and last weekend when we spend almost the whole day at Brianna’s school for 2 days in a row for Fall Festival stuff she pooped twice, but not in her pants! YAY! She has also pooped in the potty here at home all but once this week. So, I’m seeing huge progress in that department.  The only time I’m “prompting” her to go to the bathroom is when she wakes up, right before bed, and right before we go somewhere. The rest of the time she either just goes or she tells me she has to go so I can take her.

The current plan is to take the family to the State Fair next Wednesday after Brianna gets out of school.  That’s the only day during the fair when we don’t have SOMETHING going on in the evening.  We didn’t go last year and Brianna was devastated. I’ve already bought the tickets on-line. I also go the girls unlimited ride wristbands. I don’t care to ride the rides anymore – too old for that and my neck can’t handle the rougher rides anyway. I go for the artery-clogging-butt-widening food and the exhibits.